‘I’m not a housekeeper': Woman demands boyfriend handle all the household chores since he works from home full-time, he refuses to comply

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    AITA for telling my girlfriend I won't do all the cleaning just because I work from home?

    I (29m) work remotely full-time. My gf (28f) works at an office. We recently moved in together, and suddenly she expects me to handle all the household chores because I'm already home all day.
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    I told her that working from home doesn't mean I'm free to vacuum, cook, and do laundry between meetings.
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    I already do my fair share, but she keeps saying it's not equal because she commutes.
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    Last week I refused to do the dishes she left after dinner, saying I wasn't going to be treated like her housekeeper.
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    She snapped that I was being selfish. AITA for refusing to do more chores just because I work from home?
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    Vintage2000s NTA - To be honest, WFH can (job depending) afford some additional flexibility at home like putting a load of washing on at lunch time etc and there is obviously the fact that you're at home more so "dirtying" the house more. So I do see that a partner who WFH might have that flexibility HOWEVER it has to be a conversation and agreement not a demand.
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    Since you just moved in together, it would appear you want the relationship to work so sitting down and discussing fair division of labour is a normal part of those early living together niggles. You going to the internet to prove you have done nothing wrong doesn't particularly solve the issue.
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    FalseAsphodel INFO: how long is her commute? If she's commuting over an hour in each direction that's two hours a day you have extra, for example. I'm not saying you should do all the cleaning and chores but it would be nice of you to pop her washing in the machine for her or load/unload the dishwasher. Not while you're working, obviously, but in the morning before you start work or before she gets home. If her commute is short then you don't have much more free time than she does.
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    marygoore NTA but if she cooked you dinner and you didn't do the dishes, you sk
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    Whenitsajar As a team, you should aim to have the same amount of free time (because you should want that for your partner). If she has a long commute and you have none, than your fair share should be a bigger percentage of chores. Not saying all the chores or that you have to do them during your work day, but remember that you're a team. Sounds like she's got a bit of an attitude because she's jealous of your extra free time and is expressing it poorly. Try to use some of that free time to benef
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    EVANonSTEAM How much does she does around the house and what is her commute? Commute DOES factor in; if she is commuting an hour one-way for example you bet I'm cleaning a few of her dishes.
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    MistressLyda INFO: How long is her commute?
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    ESH Nrysis It sounds like you both need to communicate better, because you are both making good points but also refusing to listen to what the other is saying. You are saying that just because you are at home all day, that doesn't mean you have any time during working hours to do chores, which is true.
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    She is saying that because she has a long commute, her working hours are longer, and it is unfair for you to be sitting watching TV or playing games during that time when she has not finished her workday by arriving home. This is also fairly reasonable. So the solution is somewhere in between, which is what I expect both of you were actually aiming at - you compare the length of your work days to figure out how much extra free time you have available, and full on that time doing some of the hous
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    Maybe that means you doing the cooking so dinner is ready when she gets home. Maybe her commute is an easy one where
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    keyboardbill I work from home and pick up more household duties because of that. Do I pick up all of them? No. Does she contribute quite a bit? Yes. You guys need to meet in the middle here. NAH here. Yet...
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    INFO Dry_Barracuda2850 What is the current split of chores? How much mess does working from home add? (Like drinks during the day and dishes from lunch, etc)
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    TemptingPenguin369 NTA. WFH doesn't mean you're not on the clock, or you don't have to constantly monitor emails or Slack throughout the workday. You may need to revisit the division of chores in your household.

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